Running With Quills: If You're Happy And You Know It, Clap Your Hands...

Welcome to Running With Quills, your online newsletter designed to keep you up to date with what your favorite authors (that would be us) are doing throughout the year. Here you will find the release dates of our new books and get information about our backlists. We'll preview our cover art here long before the books hit the stores and we'll keep you informed about works-in-progress and special projects. You'll also receive advance notice of signings and appearances. From time to time we'll give you a peek at our worlds, tell you what we're reading, and introduce you to some new authors.

Friday, September 08, 2006

If You're Happy And You Know It, Clap Your Hands...

Good morning everyone! You know, after my exciting news of making the "legit" Times list, I took the day off. My husband and I drove to Eastern Kentucky to catch my son and his fiance between college classes and their work. We had dinner at a steak house, visited, and just plain had fun.

Today I'll be writing, writing, writing, and then reading, reading, reading. (I have line edits waiting for me on Causing Havoc.)

So, am I happy? You betcha. I'm doing what I love.
But I recently did an interview, and one of the questions pointed out that I'm such a family gal, and that family appears to be my priority, not writing. I was asked if I could be happy if I never sold again.

Without hesitation, I said YES.
I was happy before I sold.
I was happy (but frustrated and determined) the whole time I struggled to sell.
Writing is what I do, but it's not what I am.
It feeds the creative part of me, but without writing, I wouldn't let that part starve. I'd find another way to feed it and I'd keep on being happy.
If I suddenly couldn't sell, maybe I'd keep writing and just post the books online. Or I'd try selling in a different genre. Or I'd write articles.
Something.

I'm an artsy person. Without the outlet of writing, I could get my paints back out and spend more time on that. (Maybe I'd even get good, instead of mediocre.) Or I'd buy a kiln and start firing up clay pieces. Messy clay is always a blast.
Or chalk... I love chalk! It's so blendable.

When I was younger, I used to think about being an art teacher. I do adore kids - my own and others - and I've always enjoyed interacting with people of all ages.
But writing...?
I never even considered it.
I didn't enjoy reading, so why would I? (School books, as far as I'm concerned, are more designed to turn kids off reading, than to get them hooked.)

If on that long-ago day my sis hadn't brought me over a grocery bag of romance novels when I was too sick to get out of bed, I never would have discovered the joy of reading AND writing.

But I know I'd still be happy with the other elements in my realm: husband, kids, pets, LIFE.

So my question today is: Are you happy doing what you're doing?
And if so, is your happiness dependent on it?
If you couldn't keep your current job, what else would you do?

Most of all, I hope that all of you ARE happy.
The alternative would be no fun at all.
BIG HUGS!

27 Comments:

Tabitha Gibson said...: Lori,

I must say, you are so down to earth and very inspirational. Guess WE as readers have to thank your sister too for bringing you those novels or we wouldn't be enjoying your talent. *Big Wave* Thanks Lori's Sis! ;)

Have a great weekend!

PS - First time I'm the first poster. Yay!; 8:22 AM
Anonymous said...: I´m definetly happy with my life as it is. The reason is my own outlook on life, to be thankful for what I have, rather than grumbling about what I don´t have. Then there is my family, who is my cornerstone and anchor. My friends whom I value very much and so many other things.
My work is not a factor. I work to live not the other way around. But I´m happy enough with my job, although not emotionally attached to it.
In my opinion you need only three elements to be happy:
1) Family who loves you
2) Friends who value you
3) The ability to value what you have and be content with it.; 8:40 AM
susanna in alabama said...: I agree that it's inspirational to see how centered you are, Lori. From reading the three romance writer blogs I frequent the most, it seems that most of my favorite romance authors are. It makes me wonder if writing happy normal-people romances just naturally follows from being a happy normal person with creative talent.

As for me, I'm generally a happy person, although I've gone through some serious down times (don't we all). Reading, writing and needlework give me tremendous pleasure, and lift me up when life gets hard. I'm not married and have no children, but family is precious nonetheless. I actually moved over 1000 miles to a state I'd never lived in before so I could be close to my brother and his young family. Spending time with them makes me happy. I've moved a lot, but my computer, books and fabric stash move with me, and I always find a great church family, so... I would say 90% of the time I'm 90% content with my life (can you tell I write grant proposals with outcome goals expressed in percentages?! lol).

I've had a lot of different jobs in my life, but all of them involved significant amounts of writing. By now I know that I will always be able to find work involving writing, and I will be content, even if it's not precisely the kind of writing I most want to do. Although I'm getting more serious with my fiction writing. :); 8:46 AM
Lori Foster said...: Such wonderful comments! Thank you everyone.

You know, speaking of jobs that are "work to live, not live to work" type employment... My husband retired from Krogers and he was always so upbeat about his job. Someone asked him why he didn't hate it the way the rest of them did.
Well, he said, "Love it or hate it, we're here for 8 hours. Might as well love it."

And that's partly why I love him so much! Such a great outlook on life in general.

I've always felt that attitude played a huge role in our happiness.

HUGS to one and all!

Lori; 9:13 AM
Janet said...: Lori,
I worked in an office up until 3 years ago. Then I decided to be a stay-at-home mom. It was a hard decision because I've always worked. Once I made the decision, I was very happy. Raising my son is more important to me. With the holidays just around the corner, I'm glad to spend the time with my family before I have to go back to work again.; 9:14 AM
Lori Foster said...: Hi Janet,

Will you go back to work outside your home, do you think? I was a stay-at-home mom. In fact, I guess I still am since I work at home. LOL. I loved it, too.
Hope you have a wonderful weekend!

Lori; 11:43 AM
Estella said...: I am happily retired and have no desire to be anything else. I read, garden, cross stitch and sew---and yes, play on the computer.; 11:46 AM
Gram said...: I too am happily retired although having worked since I started babysitting at age 11 I didn't know what I would do with myself all day. Now I do not know how I found time to work. LOL I am never bored or want for anything to do. I love being able to pick up a book just to enjoy after reading for classes I had to take for so long. Yes I did some pleasure reading then, but not as much as I wanted to.; 12:05 PM
Janet said...: Lori,
I know that I will go back to work but I don't when. I volunteer occasionally at the book store I shop at. Sometimes, one of the girls isn't able to help sell books at the RWA convention, and then I'm asked to help out. I love helping out since I've gotten to meet some great authors. I've even met Jayne Ann Krentz once when she came to the bookstore. Anyway, my son finally started going to mother's day out so now I get a five hour break. Now I can get some quality reading time in and relax. I hope you have a great weekend too, Lori.; 12:41 PM
Janet said...: By the way, I picked up a copy of Murphy's Law. I can't wait to read it!; 12:45 PM
Karibear said...: I don't think of myself as a sunshine person, though most of the time I am content with my life. My son thinks I'm a Pollyanna, so maybe I am. I never lived to work - at least not for the paycheck - but for the most part I enjoyed what I did. When it stopped being fun, I found a different job. My last one was as a vocational rehabilitation counselor, and that was extremely rewarding, plus the way the grant was written, it also paid for the last few credits I needed for my BA. Only took me Only took me 35 years!

The past several years - becoming disabled and forced to 'retire' - have been devastating, and that's something I'm still coming to grips with. I've never confused what I do with who I am, but it is difficult to suddenly become 'nothing.' However, if I identified myself as anything, it would be as a writer. That's the one thing that's been constant in my life, even before kids - from letters to short stories to email to poetry - especially poetry - to novels in progress. Some day I might even finish one or more of them.

But am I HAPPY? Depends on which day you ask!; 1:10 PM
Lori of Canadaa said...: Hey Lori!!!

You definitely have a great balance of doing what you love (because you love it) and having success while having a great family life. It is always a pleasure to hear how much affection you have for your family and friends.

I am a High School English teacher and often get asked by people who don't know better why I do the job I do (particularly considering the financial compensation which isn't in anyway connected to your success or effort). My answer? I cannot imagine doing anything else with my life. I love it; and I get so much out of what I do

(HOwever, I also know I need to get a better balance on my outside life and my teaching career)

Lori M.; 1:39 PM
talpianna said...: Lori--if all else fails, you could always blog...

pqyvujjn --possum quilting, yak viewing, uther joyful jobs--nice!; 5:55 PM
Kat said...: Since the seventh grade I always knew I was going to be a lawyer, and I could not imagine doing anything else.
One day my husband looked at me one day, as I was 'about to pop pregnant' and says "Babe, would you consider being a stay at home mom?"
Without hesitation, Yes. And it shocked me.
I've had almost a year off and sometimes I get bored. I know, it's bad, being bored with six month old twin girls, but I miss my job.
Thanks to an author on this site I have been writing, recreationally, since my freshman year of college, and every night I sit in front of my computer with a bottle of beer or a glass of wine, depending on the day, and write, just a little, but I still write.
If I did not LOVE being a lawyer sooo much, I guess I could stay at home, raise my daughters and write, but I know I would look back and regret it.
But it's not to the point that my happiness is dependent on my job, before my twins it was a big part of it, but being a lawyer has been in my head since I was twelve, its hard to just give it up like that.
When I go back to the office (a month and counting) my hours will be really reduced, but I would have it no other way.; 8:37 PM
Stella said...: This site has been kicking me out all day. GRRRRR!

I'm mired in revision so I may not be as objective about happiness as I should be.

I like what I do and after so long it's hard to think about what I would do if I couldn't write anymore. I also like to paint, and draw. I draw anyway, always have, but it would be difficult for me to meander along without some sort of goal to reach. Perhaps finally working with homeless animals would be the best thing--I've always wanted to give regular time to them.

My family is my first priority, then our pets. And my freinds and just people in general are very important to me.

Still mulling,
Stella; 12:00 AM
AgTigress said...: Interesting topic. I identify so totally with my work that retirement has been scarcely a blip - I still go in to my former workplace two to three times a week, have coffee with my colleagues, and continue doing what I always did: researching, studying and interpreting the relics of the past, and publishing my conclusions. I don't do the boring admin-and-management stuff any more, of course, the tedious reports, forecasts, assessments and such, and that is a huge relief. They didn't 'alf get in the way of the real work...

My husband is the same - he has been retired for ten years, now, but still has a desk in his old department (same workplace as mine, same profession), a desk that is in regular use. Practically every time one goes in to the building, one sees another retired former member of staff showing his/her staff pass and drawing a set of keys. Obviously our line of work is a vocation rather than a job.

The last two months have been hard, with my father's final illness and his death, and I have felt desperately isolated, being away from my own home and my workplace so much. It has brought home to me just how much my life still revolves around my work, and how adrift I feel when torn away from it and set down in another part of the country, far from my library and my friends.; 2:40 AM
Lori Foster said...: Good morning all. I have a cold, the kind that makes your throat tickle and makes sleep impossible. Ugh. And I'm soooo tired, but oh well. Since I'm up, I might as well blog, huh? LOL.

To all you retired ladies... my poor husband retired, at my insistent begging, and now he works harder than he ever has. Sometimes I think "going to work" gets you out of work, ya know? The stuff that needs to be done at home never ends. And if you're there, you feel YOU should be the one to do it.

I look forward to a day when Allen and I can take 2 or 3 days off and just do idle stuff. But those days aren't here yet. :-)

Janet, whenever retired people tell me they're bored, or that they need more exercise, I always wonder why they don't volunteer. For something. For anything. Stella's idea of animals is a fabulous one! I give money to the animal shelter, but money is such an easy thing to give, and I know I'd feel like more of a contributor if I gave of myself, too.
The bookstore is also a great way to volunteer - and to meet JAK along the way... icing on the cake! :-)

Please, don't anyone pay any attention to typos in this post or any that follow. I'm still waking and coughing. Be easy on me. LOL

HUGS!

Lori; 3:39 AM
Lori Foster said...: Karibear, you're a mother, so you could never be "nothing." I understand down times - we've all been there, some of us with lesser problems than others. But please, don't ever think in terms of "nothing." By being a friend - online or otherwise - and a mom, and a neighbor, a pet owner, a home owner, etc... you're a lot of somethings.

I feel like sometimes we're in a circle, and we can't see out of it, but those who aren't in it can see us so clearly... Does that make sense? Try to get out of the circle, hon. I've found it's one of the hardest lessons I've ever learned, to crawl out of my circle and look in, instead of looking out.
And keep writing, as often as you can. That is so much more than most people do.
I hope you have more days of feeling like a conquering giant than days of feeling disabled. When you post on here, all I "see" is a very generous and kind soul. Big hugs!

Lori; 3:44 AM
Lori Foster said...: Lori M., you already know how I feel about teachers who are enthusiastic and caring. You totally rock and our world is lucky to have you involved with our future!

Tal, is that a compliment or a tease? LOL. I'm not at all sure.

Kat, what type of lawyer are you? I can certainly see the difference in how your brain would react to working on legal problems vs caring for twin girls! LOL. Congrats on getting back to the office!

Stella, you always have the most awesome and thought out replies. Yes, I'd need goals, too. And some day I'd love to see your drawings. Animals are also very important to me, but as I said above, I never seem to be able to devote the time and physical attention to the animal shelter as I'd like. They do have a wonderful new facility now, and it's close by. I would love to go and walk the dogs and pet the kitties, etc... But then I'd also want to bring them all home, too.

Agtigress, how wonderful that you have such a meaningful job. I'm very sorry to hear about your father and the subsequent emotions and conditions that go with losing a parent. I hope you're able to get back to your routine very soon.
I, too, feel very adrift when I haven't been able to write for any length of time. I'm a creature of habit. I have a laptop, but I don't use it as others do. It's strictly for travel.
I like to be at my desk, with my favorite candles lit, my little furbabies in their favorite positions, my snacks at hand, and my crazy music playing.
Being out in the sunshine near the pond would not work for my writing time. LOL. It's a whole different thing.

So many wonderful responses you've all shared! Sort of makes me glad I have this stupid cold, because I got up early enough to read them and post to all of you. Thank you for taking the time!

I hope everyone has a relaxing, fun, or otherwise productive Saturday!
HUGS...

Lori; 4:01 AM
DFender said...: Even though my answer is short and sweet it really is true.

I'm happy doing anything and everything I like to do or have to do. No point in being any other way. It beats the alternative hands down.

Hope you feel better, Lori!

Deb; 3:13 PM
Kat said...: I am a criminal defense lawyer.

Its a tough job but someone has to do it.

Hope you feel better soon! It's cold season. My husband has it and if he gives it to me or the girls, I may have to kick his butt!; 4:49 PM
Judy F said...: Hey Lori, I am sorry your not feeling well. Chris at the bookstore has had a terrible cold. Hugs to you both.

I am much happier with my job then I was this time last year. Since I was more or less forced to find a new job in March of this year, it couldn't have worked out better where I am. I am still learning but its getting easier and everyone has been so great.

Congrats on your NY times listing; 5:11 PM
Stella said...: Tigress: I'm sad to find learn of your father's death. This is a difficult time for you.

Kat: Criminal Defense, hmmm? How do you feel about answering a question now and then (don't you, laugh, Lori)?

Lori: Ick, a cold. Too much emotion going around and probably not enough sleep.

Karibear: Nothing? I don't think so:)

Judy: Im very glad you're in a job you like and where the people you work with are nice.

As Lori writes--the responses are so interesting. We are a diverse group in a way, but in some areas we are alike.

Cheers, Stella; 7:52 PM
Lori Foster said...: Deb, I share your sentiments!

Kat, criminal defense! Wow, I bet that gets exciting. Do you ever have personal conflicts with it?
I had the same thought as Stella - research! :-)

Judy, you're such a super nice person, how could the people around you NOT be nice? I'm glad you have a better (happier) job now. Sometimes it happens that way - changes hit us, and we don't like it, but it works out to be better. You just never know.
We definitely need lunch soon. I'll try to get up to the bookstore to see you and Chris. Give her my best!

Happy Sunday everyone. :-)

Lori; 4:10 AM
cate said...: I'm a teacher's aide and I'm happy to be back to school because all my home projects are finished. If they weren't done, I'd be thinking about them as I work. So my happiness doesn't depend on my school work but I'd probably volunteer my time there, which is how I started out. I was there so much helping out, they finally started paying me. And the kids! High drama and very funny. They keep me young and in the loop! Home and school is a nice balance for me.

Every day do one thing that adds to your happiness. Just one. I don't believe in waiting for it to happen, go out and find it!; 10:08 AM
Lizelle from South Africa said...: I won't say I'm happy with my work, but I am happy with my life. I would like to do something else for a living, like opening my own bookstore. But then I think of my steady income, which I need to pay of my house in keep my son in a good school. But I am saving up for that dream, so I am getting there. But my family and friends make me real happy. And I try not to get upset or stressed out about things that cannot be changed, but to accept it and just go with the flow.; 2:47 AM
Lori Foster said...: Cate, I agree with you about kids - even when they're misbehaving, they crack me up and I learn. I loved helping out at the school and did so often. And kudos to you for making things happen! I'm with you!

Lizelle, hi! You've said something that is soooo important. Yes, we all have dreams. But we should never chase those dreams at the expense of our responsibilities. Making sure that you stay financially responsible and that your son has what he needs is its own reward, in my opinion. The bookstore will happen for you - I'm sure of it! But what a great mother you are to put your son's needs first. Big hugs to you!

Hope you all had a good weekend. I wrote up a storm. It was great.
HUGS!

Lori; 5:14 AM

Previous Posts

Friday, September 08, 2006

If You're Happy And You Know It, Clap Your Hands...

27 Comments: