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Thursday, October 26, 2006

Susan wonders: are we BORN wanting to do it?


Write books, ride horses or create fabulous pastries, that is?

What? You were expecting something a little more titillating?

:) I was counting on that.

The first time I met my future sister-in-law she was painting a picture of a horse. She LOVED horses and rode at any opportunity. Every spring we'd go over to Sun Lakes in eastern Washington. (or as we call it up here in our little corner of the world: East of the Mountains) The first thing she'd do is drag everyone down to the stables and bully the stablemaster into letting us take the horses out on our own. This was heaven for her. For me, not so much. I always seemed to end up on some big ol’ brute named Bright Eyes who's only desire was to return to the barn. And if he had to scrape me off against a tree to obtain his objective. . . well, that worked for him.

But I digress. Reading has always been my passion and as you all know, writing eventually became my defining one. But back when it was still merely a mental exercise I did to put myself to sleep at night, I found a creative outlet in baking. Pies and breads, mostly.

The minute I pulled out that flour canister, my Sweet Baby Boy started clamoring to help. I think he was maybe three/four years old the first time he pushed a chair up to the counter where I was assembling ingredients and pulled on an apron that pooled atop his shoes.

By the time he was 13 he was creating desserts with such beautiful presentation it knocked my socks off. The minute he was old enough to legally hold a job he went to work in a restaurant and eventually won a partial scholarship to culinary school, where he trained to become a pastry chef.

Since then, he's worked in some fabulous restaurants in the Seattle area. My sister-in-law now owns three horses. And I write for a living. So I'm wondering: were we born to do these things? What do you think? Are people meant to choose certain paths in their lives? And do you have a passion that manifested itself early?

23 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think we are born with certain abilities that we either inherit (like blond hair or the ability to run fast) or are just "given", either by God or Nature (or whatever else you may believe in).
Consider the musical gift of Mozart, Bach and Bethoven. Consider the great art of Leonardo da Vinci. Da Vinci was also a mathematical genius as well as an artist.
We all have our abilities but circumstances may dictate wether or not we have an opportunity to develope and work at them. Just think if Shakespear had been born to a desperately poor family and had never learned to read or write. What if Mozarts family had never bothered to expose him to music. Or if Da Vinci had died in childhood before he had time to accomplish all he was capable of. How many such men and women have we lost and continue to loose because the world is not a fair place.
Sirry.

12:55 AM  
Blogger DFender said...

I've always loved reading... I can't remember when I haven't. I've never wanted to be an author though.

I think that we're all given a sort of head start at birth... on our path. I don't know that all of us choose to follow or go another way.

I've wanted to be a high school history teacher since I was a little kid. I'm an accountant. LOL. I guess getting pregnant my freshman year in college changed my path which is the same as saying that I changed my own path. I then required a steady, single parent income. Off to find a full time job that, 15 years later, lead to a controller position. I took the long route, no degree, lots of years climbing. Nineteen years later I'm mostly happy with my path. I still wouldn't mind getting that teaching degree. I do, however, believe that each path comes with its own rewards.

Great topic, Susan. Uhm, your son wouldn't want to send some pastry our way would he? ;-) Happy Friday!

Deb

3:31 AM  
Anonymous Lou said...

I think some people are born with a strong drive towards a special interest. I know that as soon as I could talk one of my first words was "horse". I bullied my mother into riding lessons at the tender age of 4 and have been riding ever since.

As for reading, I learned how to read before kindergarten (thanks to my mother) and had my nose in a book constantly as I was interested in everything from cowboys to Greek mythology. But I wonder, if I hadn't been so shy as a child if I would have read so much(?). Do you think that being shy can lead to solitary pursuits such as reading?

9:41 AM  
Blogger Christie Ridgway said...

I've been through some poor villages in Mexico and wondered what I would be if I'd grown up there instead of in the U.S. I think I'd still be telling myself stories.

Your son's story interests me too, Susan, because my little guys has a sudden passion for bearded dragon lizards. Yes, we have two, and he cares for them like a parent!

Zoologist? Biologist? Or just a great future dad?

9:55 AM  
Blogger Karibear said...

I think about this once in awhile, especially after watching some show about child geniuses and their drive to [over]achieve. I wonder what life would have been like for me if I'd been even just allowed to learn at my own pace instead of being constantly punished for doing 'too much' and being bored to tears in school.

As for doing other things, that's something else - but also the same. I have a talent for cooking and baking [who wouldn't, raising kids?] and managing to stretch every nickel to it's utmost and then some. My sister, who grew up in the very same house and family, insists she can't cook - no one ever taught her [like maybe she couldn't read a cookbook for herself] - can't garden [again, no one ever taught her, even though all her neighbors would be overjoyed to do so] - and so on. I don't understand that kind of attitude.

Probably my most long-lasting drive has been to make life better for abused/neglected animals. I don't do formal obedience training or agility, or any of those things, but I can turn almost any dog into a happy cooperative home companion. That was undoubtedly the most difficult passion to maintain, given that my family tended to think of animals as disposable lawn ornaments.

Their loss.

11:11 AM  
Blogger Teresa Medeiros said...

Susan,
I absolutely believe that we're born with these gifts and passions. The first time I finished a short story in the ninth grade and pulled that last page out of the typewriter, I got a feeling unlike any other--as if I was fulfilling my destiny--doing exactly what God made me for.

Your "Baby Boy" is blessed to have found his passion so early and to have a mom who welcomed him into her kitchen :)

(I also believe baking is a form of "creating" because whenever I'm between books, I bake like a fiend!)

12:29 PM  
Blogger Susan Andersen said...

You all have raised some interesting questions that never occurred to me. Thinking about it, however, I imagine circumstances would have a lot to do with the practicality of pursuing one's passion. Deb, I certainly get the need to earn a living impacting your choices. Still, maybe you'll go back to school some day and get that teaching degree after all. One of my oldest friends went back to college at 40 to get her accounting degree and is happily hassling corporations for the IRS. As for pastries? Don't I wish. It's sort of like the cobbler's kids. My son rarely bakes for us. He does occasionally cook for us, though, and that's nothing to sneeze at!

Lou, I don't think shyness is limited to the bashful, but it's certaily a solitary pursuit, so I see the draw for those who might find socializing painful.

Christie, welcome, welcome! For those of you who haven't already read Christie, you need to RUN to your nearest bookstore and get one of her books. She's got a WISE GIRL series going right now about 3 women connected to a California Mafia family. It's fun and hot and So Good.

Well must go limp through my own opus. It's going slowly, slowly. Maybe that's what I should ask for Christmas this year. Speed in writing.

12:45 PM  
Blogger Susan Andersen said...

***Your "Baby Boy" is blessed to have found his passion so early and to have a mom who welcomed him into her kitchen ***

Teresa, he was so darn cute. Then.

I was less thrilled to share my kitchen when he first graduated from the culinary school. They teach them to bake but not to clean up after themselves and I remember this one lovely torte he made in particular. I had lace curtains in my kitchen at the time and I had to pick chocolate ganache out of them. And for what seemed like forever following the creation of that little masterpiece flour drifted from my cupboards every time we opened them.

I do believe we had a little heart to heart chat after that incident. :)

1:03 PM  
Blogger Estella said...

I always wanted to be a wife and I have achieved that goal.

1:41 PM  
Blogger Jayne Ann Krentz said...

Great topic, Susan. I do believe that the secret to personal happiness is finding one's own, personal passion in life and that can take a lot of stumbling around.

I didn't figure out that I wanted to be a writer until I was in my twenties. Didn't get published for another six or seven years. It was the income from my "day" job as a librarian that paid the rent -- and ultimately taught me a heck of a lot about how to do the research I would later need for my writing...

So, maybe it all works out in the end.

1:43 PM  
Anonymous Beth W. said...

Well, I honestly can't remember ever wanting to be anything other than a nurse when I was growing up (although apparently in kindergarten I wanted to be a "paper girl" as evidenced by the book I made that my mom saved).

I can't tell you why that's all I've ever wanted to be; there was no "a-ha" moment or defining event. It's just simply what I always wanted to do. People would say, "well, you know, you could be a doctor," and I'd reply, "Yes, I know I could, but I want to be a NURSE".

And yes, today I'm a nurse. I struggled a little bit when I was in nursing school (the first time I questioned my career choice), but now I don't know what I'd do if it wasn't this.

3:39 PM  
Blogger Susan Andersen said...

Jayne, I was 30 when I wrote my first book and a month shy of my 39th birthday when I got the call offering me a contract for my 4th manuscript. (the first 3 will never see the light of day for a very good reason but were invaluable learning tools). Before then I did so many different things, from messenger girl to auction coordinator, that it wasn't even funny. But I simply hadn't figured out yet what I wanted to be when I grew up--and then once I did it took me awhile to actually get paid to do it.

Beth, I LOVE nurses. I think you all are smart, compassionate and run the hospitals. (I had cancer in my twenties and a very good friend of mine has been in ICU for the past 5 weeks and is just now being transferred to a regular ward, so I know whereof I speak) I couldn't do what you do in a million years, so my hat is off to you. I had a friend in high school whose mother was a nurse and that's all she ever wanted to be as well. I've since lost touch with her, but I do know she is still working in her chosen field.

5:18 PM  
Blogger Apron Thrift Girl said...

I love this subject as I have a little four year old son who acts as if he was born in the kitchen. He cooks with us every chance he has and talks about his restaurant that he will have when he is older. I have a gluten allergy and he explains to me that he'll cook gluten free food so that I can eat there. That just melts my heart when he says that. It took me ages to figure out what I wanted to be. Even now I have so many things I like to do that I have a hard time focusing on just one item. But I'm trying one step at a time to do them all. I enjoy writing very much and have been writing since I was a young girl. I had my own family newspaper called The Unicorn News.

9:58 PM  
Anonymous Ranurgis said...

I too believe that we are born with certain inherited traits and that during our life we have certain experiences that point in one way more than in others. I wonder what would have happened to my cooking genes if I hadn't had such a disastrous time in Grade 7 or 8 with trying to get everything ready at the same time. Was it that I'm physically just inept or unorganized and then get flustered or what. But I hated cooking from the word go. I'm not good at multi-tasking. Give me one thing to bake and I was fine but I've pretty well lost that now too.

Right from nursery school on (Kindergarten in German), I wanted to be a teacher. For a while when I became more intensely involved with languages, I dreamt of becoming an interpreter and when that dream died I bacame a teacher. Because I also loved numbers, I did bookkeeping/accounting for a while and wouldn't be against doing it again.

But I've loved to read since I was tiny. I don't think I started reading very early because there were few children's books available because a lot had been destroyed during the war. But once I got going, I never stopped. I was a teenager when I found out that I would never become a creative writer. My mind is too logical and I'm not at all anything like what some of you have described: seeing two people or even just one and spinning a whole story. So I got stuck with the mechanics of languages which I taught and still love. I inherited more from my father than from my mother though I was much closer to her. He was the one who would buy me books and then I'd read his books after a while.

It took me a while to really find my passion in life. It was after Stella blogged about passions that I realized that people kept denigrating my dreams, my passions. As Jayne says too, finding that passion for something is what leads to personal happiness. I've just ignored the nay-sayers now and concentrate on those who encourage me and say "Yes, you can do that. Just go for it." I just had to find the way to do it best for me with the limitations I have.

Thanks to those who wrote about finding your dreams even if my dreams aren't the same as yours.

11:03 PM  
Blogger elizabeth said...

In my case, it was more like born able rather than born wanting. I was a relentless reader. When I found myself in a situation where I'd read all my favorite authors--in fact every author at the used book store and library (no $ for anything else!)--I sat down and wrote a book I would enjoy reading. The result was my first novel, a science fiction book called CHANGE. After that I spent a lot more time writing than reading!

9:39 AM  
Blogger Stella said...

Hi Susan:

I do think people are born with various aptitudes. Unfortunately, comparatively few are fortunate enough to follow their dreams unless they want to do "mainstream" things. Too often I hear teenages say something like, "I've played the guitar since I was 8 and I really want to be a musician, but I know I can't do that." What a shame.

Books have been my constant companions and writing came naturally. I'm blessed to have followed my own dream.

Cheers, Stella

1:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I took an interest and aptitude test in high school. The results: I had a linear deductive mind and should be an engineer or a doctor. I thought they were out of their minds. I wanted to be a scholar of medieval French manuscripts. Pursued that dream, spent a gorgeous year in France, gave in, did the pre-med prerequisites and now practice medicine fulltime. I have a linear deductive mind and that helps with making tough diagnoses. My gift if not my dream. But boy anybody who can be a nurse is one tough cookie! Hats off to all of them.

8:15 PM  
Blogger Becca said...

Susan, it's nice to know I'm not the only one who used her imagination to get her to sleep. It sounds weird to say that getting my brain on a creative streak would lull me into sleep, but it's all about being relaxed! Remembering all of it the next day is the hard part. LOL

I've wanted to write as far back as I can remember, it's the discipline I'm lacking.

8:18 PM  
Blogger Karibear said...

After reading all these posts, I did some more thinking about what I always wanted to do. I can't remember being too young to read, but that was escapism, always - and I still remember how utterly outraged and cheated I felt when I discovered that fiction was not REAL.

What I always wanted to do was [a] be an artist, and [b] work with animals. I don't know how much of a calling Art was, because I got a full art scholarship to college, and still let my mother talk me out of it. I'm still involved in art, in the sense that I am [or was] a very good craftsman, but the 'creative spark' left me long ago - about the time I didn't stand up for what I wanted, in fact.

As for my interest in animals, it wasn't just animals, but all kinds of science - astrophysics, archeology, herpetology, and some others. In those cases, I left the choices of prep classes up to my high school counselors, and they managed somehow to get me graduated ONE math class! Imagine trying to apply to any school for a science major with no math to speak of. I finally went to a different school on a general scholarship, and then found that I couldn't take any of the courses I really wanted unless I was a grad student in a specific field. I finally gave up, and 35 or so years later got a BA in Liberal Studies - such a bland thing. But the one thing my mother always told me was that no matter what I took in college, I should learn to type, so I'd be able to support myself after I graduated! I really wonder where typing skills ranked on the list of necessary skills [this was before computers] for the general astronomer or herpetologist.

What with one thing or another, it's been writing that's kept me sane and focused for more years than I care to count.

8:38 PM  
Anonymous Jaclyne said...

I think that some people are born to do certain things... I just never discovered what mine is!

Growing up I always wanted a family of my own. The idea of falling in love, getting married and having children was what I was striving for. So you could say that I've achieved my dream.

I'm a pretty decent cook too. I create meals out of the most basic ingredients and manage to make them tastly. I guess that's my talent!!

I'm just like Susan's son though, I have a hard time cleaning up after myself. By the time dinner is over, I'm drained of energy and can't seem to bring myself to the sink and clean my mess.

11:47 AM  
Blogger Kathy K said...

It's been fascinating reading about how driven some children can be, and how early it starts. And how some people may find something in them that leads to a passion. I've never experienced that really, but I've always liked being more on an even keel ~ I like ordinary!
Unlike your son Susan and you, Jaclyne, I much prefer the cleaning up after all the baking / cooking is done. I can function in the kitchen, "create" a lot of quick & easy meals [often to my kids' amusement] and bake once a year or so ~ the rest of the time I let my kids bake and I'll clean up. I like the organizing and tidying up afterwards, creating order out of chaos...strange, but true.
As for passions...I don't know that I've ever had a passion per se; except for reading. I've been reading since I was 5 or so, thanks to my mom, and I've been a voracious reader all my life.
My dream is a different thing. I too always wanted to be a mom ~ a stay-at-home mom ~ and babysit other children in my home; I do! and have been doing so for over 15 years. Not a big dream, but mine and I've been fortunate enough to be able to do this. And I still get to read ~ I'll read as much as I can as often as I can. My 4 children all read as well, some more than others ~ I feel that it's a gift that I've been able to help them cultivate. I think my example has helped and we've always had books in the house.

Terrific topic Susan! So looking forward to reading your opus! ^.^

Kathy

2:23 PM  
Blogger flip said...

I think that you are very lucky if you discover your passion in life very early. A lot of people can't figure it out; or may they have suppressed their feelings.

11:41 AM  
Blogger Jay said...

I think everyone is born with a talent, a Thing, and sometimes more than one - it's just a matter of finding it. Some people never do, others fall into it naturally and never look back.

I have an affinity with animals that I don't always have time or space to enjoy. They soothe me, and I them, which makes me extra handy in emergencies, and soft of heart in pounds and petshops.

However, I also have a gift for writing, again one that I don't use as much I should.

Am I born to use them? Probably. And I do, in a small hobby-like way, which probably makes a mockery of the gifts they are. But we don't always have a say in where our path leads us.

12:29 AM  

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