Sheila's got a take on Christmas that husbands don't wantcha to know

Hey, you all--I have a guest blogger this week. Please welcome Sheila Roberts--who many of you may know as Dr. Shiela from her fun articles in Romance Writers of America's RWR industry magazine. Sheila and I met oh, a hundred years or so ago at our local chapter and has she got a holiday book for you!

ON STRIKE FOR CHRISTMAS
Christmas is fast approaching and many of the women in the town of Holly are bracing for stress, overwork, and very little understanding or appreciation from the men in their lives. But then Joy Robertson, Laura Fredericks, and their knitting buddies decide to “go on strike” and give the men an opportunity to see firsthand what it takes to make the holidays merry and bright. Soon other women are joining in and husbands all over town are getting a crash course in decorating, shopping, and what to wear to see Santa, and are searching frantically for an interpreter to translate the mysteries of holiday recipes. The men may just come to appreciate the holidays after walking a mall in their wives’ high heels. But maybe the women will learn something, too.

And take it away, Sheila!!


AN OUNCE OF PROTECTION . . .
Is worth a pound of cure, so they say. That's why I thought I should go into this holiday season with A PLAN. And I'm happy to say you heard it here first. Thanks so much, Quills, for having me.

By the way, I want a hot promo pic like you ladies all have. Of course, it helps to be hot to begin with. I'm seriously considering photo-shopping my head onto Susan's body. No one would ever know until they met me in person. Then they would wonder when I put on all that weight.

Which brings me to my holiday eating plan. I thought I should eat right this year. Lots of greens. I could serve broccoli, snow peas, and green peppers to my party guests. Except that stuff is no good without dip, and I suppose an ounce of veggies to a pound of dip rather defeats the purpose of serving those veggies in the first place. And honestly, when I think of eating something green at the holidays the first thing that comes to mind is not broccoli. It's those cute little green tree-shaped spritz cookies. Or sugar cookies with green frosting. And then there's the green frosting on my holiday brownies - chocolate and mint, how can a girl resist that combination? Obviously, this is not the plan for me. I enjoy baking too much.

I could e-mail Santa and beg him to please Fe Ex me an Acme Holiday Mouth Protector ASAP. Oh, you haven't heard of this? It's basically a giant stapler. Apply to the corners and center of your lips and your eating problem is solved. No fattening holiday goody will be able to enter your mouth and make its way on down to your hips. This handy gadget has a double advantage for people like me who make a habit of putting their feet in their mouth. It's hard to do that when you can't open your beak. But I hate pain. I barely survived getting my ears pierced.

I could do some mall walking with my girlfriends. That way we could scope out the sales while burning calories and still be able to enjoy those holiday goodies. But when you're mall walking you don't want to walk too fast. You might spill your eggnog latte. You might not see that great bargain. And who wants to be all sweaty when she finds the perfect Christmas red dress? You can't try on clothes when you're sweaty. Obviously, that plan won't work.

So, realistically, here's the plan. You might like to try it, too. I'm going to have a merry Christmas and eat according to the charge card principle: enjoy it now, pay later. And yes, I will pay, but while I'm jogging my way through January I'll have my memories of holiday eating bliss to keep me warm. Now, that's a plan.
For those of you opting for Sheila's merry Christmas to my stomach plan, here's a fun recipe from my new book that you and your girlfriends are bound to enjoy.

DAVE'S PEPPERMINT FIZZ

2 generous scoops peppermint candy ice cream
1 shot peppermint schnapps
1/2 cup club soda
Combine all ingredients in blender and blend just until smooth. Serve in a champagne flute or margarita glass and garnish with a peppermint stick. Pour in just a dab more club soda to add decorative fizz. Makes one drink.