Elizabeth G. confesses: I Have a Dirty Little Secret

I’m a Virgo. In astrological terms that means I’m neat, tidy, and well-organized. Some might even say anal. (Like some of my fellow Quills.)

I make lists, lots of lists. Daily lists. Weekly lists. Monthly lists. I keep multiple calendars. One in my office. One on the desk in the kitchen and a third by the phone where I jot down a brief description of each incoming or outgoing business call. I once put up a FIVE-YEARS-AT-A-GLANCE calendar, but even I couldn't handle the stress of seeing that much of my life staring back at me each morning, and I took it down almost immediately.

So, while in many ways I’m a typical Virgo, it’s time to confess my dirty little secret: I’m also a pack rat.

I didn’t start out life as a pack rat — which, I suppose, is what all pack rats say. It sneaked up on me. Honest, folks, it did. It happened gradually over weeks and months and years. One September we suddenly quit making corporate moves every other day. (Only a slight exaggeration.) The need to clean out, sort, divest, shed, winnow, and de-clutter was no longer a priority in my life.

Being a pack rat is all about the clutter.

And, since they say confession is good for the soul, here goes:

I have four-inch stilettos in my closet and I only wear flat sandals and sensible walking shoes at this point in my life. As a matter of fact, I go barefoot 99% of the time.

I have six sizes of blue jeans — well, some are light blue, some dark denim, and a couple of pair are black — and I haven't worn jeans in a decade.

I have a silk sweater I fell in love with and paid too much for nearly fifteen years ago. It was a size too small even then. I’ve never worn it. Still, hope springs eternal: I keep it neatly folded in tissue paper for that miraculous day when I will finally put it on and discover that it fits me like a glove.

There is a huge storage closet in my office. I haven't seen the floor of that closet in . . . well, truthfully, no one knows how long it’s been. I certainly don’t. In fact, I have no idea what’s in THE ABYSS besides a box of my foreign editions, some leftover promotional postcards for a historical romance published by Topaz in 1998, and a bag of research materials from our last trip to France. AND that’s what’s visible when I open the closet door, which I try to avoid doing for obvious reasons.

I tell myself that one day, some day, I will file all of my royalty statements, which are currently piled in neat and tidy “Stella stacks.” (A term you may recall from a blog we Quills did last year about our offices and named in honor of our very own Stella Cameron.)

I keep my National Geographics in the linen closet. (Where else would one keep them?) At least I quit subscribing, so they’re not actually multiplying any longer.

Yes, my name is Elizabeth G. and I’m a pack rat.

Boy, howdy, as our Jayne would say: I feel better already. Like a great weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Maybe during my hiatus this summer I’ll clean out my underwear drawer or finally tackle THE ABYSS.

Or maybe not.

Maybe I’ll curl up with a cup of tea and read the wonderful books waiting for me on my TBR pile.

Inquiring Minds want to know: What’s in your closet? Are you a “closet” pack rat, too?

Happy Spring Cleaning . . . or not.
EG

Jayne Drinks One Last Toast to SquawkRadio

By now I'm sure most of you have heard the sad news but for those who have been out of the loop, I regret to report that a disaster of monumental proportions has occurred in blogland. The chicks at www.squawkradio.com have pulled the plug on their blog.

Yes, no less an insider than the infamous reporter, Kitty Kuttlestone, tells me that those fabulous authors who created what came to be known as The Destination Author Blog -- Christina Dodd, Eloisa James, Lisa Kleypas, Teresa Medeiros, Elizabeth Bevarly, and Connie Brockway -- have flown the coop. Seems like they want to spend more time writing their books. (Gee, now there's a concept).

The thing is, these folks pretty much wrote the book (or at least an article in Romance Writers Report) on how to create a successful author blog. They created something very special over there at squawk radio and we Quills never hesitated to, uh, borrow their ideas whenever possible.

Sure, the Quills had a few issues with the Chicks. There was that awkward week when they tried to take over RWQ and we were forced to retaliate. And there was that notorious squawk soiree at the annual Romance Writers of America conference last summer. Yes, the Quills did crash the party and it is true that we were not in formal attire. And of course there was that unfortunate incident involving the Green Ghost Margaritas. But, really, you can't blame us for getting Kitty Kuttlestone drunk. Let's be honest, she arrived for the interview already three sheets to the wind.

Still, there are some good memories and we here at RWQ will miss the Squawkers, although I understand that they will still pop into their old blog on occasion to keep folks up to date on their new releases, of which I guess there will be a lot more since they will now have more time to write books. (Gee, now there's a concept).

And so, we here in Quill Land are drinking one last Green Ghost Margarita toast to the Squawkers. We wish them lots of freed-up writing time so that they can create more wonderful books. (Gee, now there's a concept).

Interestingly, this is not the first high profile blog to go down in recent weeks. It is all enough to make one wonder if perhaps author blogs are no longer the next "new thing". Things evolve fast with authors and readers on the Internet. Two years ago, for example, there were very few book "trailers" at authors' websites. Now lots of authors offer them. And remember the old author bulletin boards? A lot of those have disappeared.

So the question becomes, what will be the next "new thing" designed to create author-reader communities online? Any ideas? As noted above, we Quills are always happy to borrow new ideas, regardless of the source.

--Jayne

Peer Group, anyone?

Has anyone noticed a trend among the Quills?
How we're all scrambling and frazzled and barely keeping up?
Must be why we're a group. Instead of Quills, we should be called The Frazzled.
Or The Insane Ones maybe.

Loonies has a nice ring to it. (Just kidding Quills, don't shoot me!)

Anyway, yeah, I'm scrambling to keep up. Sorry. I'm trying, but I know I'll be scrambling until after my June event and the delivery of my current work in progress.
I keep telling myself that come August 1st, my benefit stuff will be over, my son will be married, the work on the house will be done, my book will be turned in, and I'll have a handle on life so I can enjoy the summer!
The next book after this one won't be due for awhile.
Ahhhh... Time to recharge the gray matter!


I plan to do that with a LOT more reading. I've been soooo good about getting on the treadmill, thanks to Elizabeth's book. It's just yummy. I should be done by tomorrow, and I hate to see it end!

Next I want to read a Stella book. Suggestions anyone?
Then, I hope I hope I hope, Susan might tell me that Jared and PJ will finally have a book! I can't wait much longer for their story.


So anyway, while going insane, I've been exercising and eating better and taking my vitamins and reading. I might be nuts, but I'll be a healthy nut!

Very soon, June 1st in fact, I'll get to hang with my homies - the chicks who like what I like, the ladies who share my sense of humor and love of books.
My peer group!


Let's talk about my June event!

Why aren't you attending???
C'mon, it's only $35! A steal when you consider that you get to meet 55 authors (yeah, seriously, 55 authors!) and two editors, and two agents, not to mention over 100 like-minded readers.

It's casual, loads of fun, and informative.


The editors are Rose Hilliard from St. Martin's and Cindy Hwang from Berkley, and the agents are Jennifer Schober from Spencerhill Associates Ltd. and Roberta Brown from Brown Literary Agency.

Here are the authors:

Liz Andrews
Becky Barker
Anya Bast
Julia Bennett
Jacki Bentley
Elizabeth Bevarly
Toni Blake
Monica Burns
Dianne Castell
Sam Cheever
Ann Christopher
MaryAnn Chulick
Edwina Columbia
Debby Conrad
Diane Craver
Lauren Dane
Gia Dawn
Jamie Denton
Carol Ann Erhardt
Gail Faulkner
Lori Foster
Nia K. Foxx
Shelley Galloway
Heather Grothaus
Carolan Ivey
Marcia James
Isabo Kelly
Rosemary Laurey
Mary Lennox
Michelle L. Levigne
Kimberly Logan
Melissa Lopez
Sasha Lord
Donna MacMeans
Janice Maynard
Erin McCarthy
Sarah McCarty
LuAnn McLane
Dianne Miley
Shelby Morgen
Beth Morrow
Anne Rainey
Tracy L. Ranson
Patricia Sargeant
Barbara Satow
Katherine Smith
Catherine Spaulding
Michele Stegman
Kay Stockham
DeNita Tuttle
Eve Vaughn
Kelley Vitollo
Shiloh Walker
Ann Warner
J.C. Wilder
(Sorry, I don't know how to do columns on here!)

Awesome line-up, huh?

Many of those authors, and some of the Quills, contributed to our cookbook, which is for sale at Samhain, Amazon, BN, and our event!
Proceeds from the sales go to worthy causes, mostly the troops!

On top of all that, we have over 60 donated raffle baskets coming, and 20 authors offering critiques to be raffled off.

We have a pizza party with colas Friday night, a continental breakfast and buffet lunch on Saturday. (That's why I charge $35 - to cover the food.)

Friday night events include games , line dancing lessons, and a fun presentation by the Vamps and Scamps authors. (Prepare to laugh!)

Saturday we have loads of opportunities for photos with authors, agent & editor appointments, a used book exchange, the bookfair, raffle, and our infamous rotating lunch, where authors literally pick up their plates and switch tables every 15 minutes so that everyone has a chance to visit with them.
Fun, huh? (The authors don't complain too much, and the readers love it!)


Sound good to you?
Allrightythen... now for my rush of the moment questions to you, to round out this hodge podge blog.

What authors would YOU love to see at a large gathering?

Is there any particular author that would entice you to attend an event like this?

What type of activities would you want if you were to attend? (We're always open to new ideas!)

For me, I wish I could get all the Quills to attend. But as I said in my first paragraph, we're so blasted swamped with work and life, I can't see that happening any time soon.
But I can continue to dream....

HUGS,
(Yeah, I know this blog is short on pictures, but I promise to do better next time!)

ELIZABETH LOOKS FOR A RUT

"So-and-so is in a rut." People say that like it's a bad thing. Personally, I'm looking for a rut to climb into! About seven weeks ago, I moved to our Washington (state of) house for the spring, summer, fall (until we have 7 overcast days in a row, then I'm outta here!). We drove up here from Sedona with a car crammed to the headliner. Yes, it took a few days to pack. A few more to drive.

We stopped to see our kids and grandkids for three-four days on the way up, turning the whole trip into a nine-day-adventure.

I'd been home in Anacortes less than 24 hours when I came down with the kind of hives that made me want to take a vegetable peeler to my skin. Two weeks and two rounds of high-test medication later, I was exhausted but no longer looked like I'd been parboiled and whipped with a willow switch. I'd barely recovered and unpacked the last moving box when it was time to pack again and fly to Kuaui for my nephew's wedding. Ten days in Paradise, during which it blew close to gale force every day. We raced around for the wedding and crammed in sight-seeing. Then the long flight home and three-five days of unpacking, washing clothes, and recovering from jet lag. (Hate to say this, girls, but lag doesn't improve with age. No matter what the ads tell you, your body knows the truth.)











When we got home, our daughter stayed with us for a few days before she returned to Sedona. No sooner did I recover and resume writing my "work in progress," BLUE SMOKE AND MURDER, than THE WRONG HOSTAGE came out in paperback. Stuff like that is always good for multiple messages from New York, brillantly timed to ensure that I was distracted all but an hour or so a day. Things were finally settling down when it was time to prepare our boat, and ourselves, for a one-week adventure in Victoria, BC (Canada) and Roche Harbor, USA. I took my work with me (optimist that I am), and did zero words per day. Our boat was being "fitted" with a dingy, which required several strange men aboard and endless conferences on just which tool to use to ensure that the "cradle" holding the dingy would be secure no matter what kind of seas we encountered. The boat isn't big enough for all that hammering and yammering not to interfere with what passed for my ability to concentrate. Even with my iPod turned up to the point of pain, I could hear everything that was said and done on the upper deck. Like I said, zero words per day. It took two days longer than their one-day estimate to finish the work, but finally our new dingy was happy in its cradle, the upper deck was quiet...and it was time to leave Victoria for Roche Harbor and a boating rendezvous. The rendezvous was everything a gathering of like-minded souls is supposed to be--noisy, lots of people, lots of food, zero words per day. We got back to Anacortes Sunday, late morning, in a squall with driving rain. The tide was out, so the ramp we had to use back up to our house was like climbing out of a well with only handholds.

But we got everything transferred from boat to house.

Finally. I answered backed-up emails, unpacked, did laundry, had four other folks over for dinner Sunday night, and got ready to work on the next day, Monday. Did I mention that Monday is the day my sister moved from one condo in Anacortes to another? Well, it was. So we all pitched in, got her moved, fed people lunch and dinner, collapsed in a heap, ran errands Tuesday morning (furniture, groceries, mail, all the stuff that comes with moving), sat down to work on BLUE SMOKE AND MURDER... And realized I had a blog due by Tuesday night.

Bang head on keyboard.
Repeat until urge to scream fades.


Write blog.

Have you ever wished for a nice comfy rut to crawl into?

CLOTHING OPTIONAL

The whales that wandered into the Sacramento River have captured, justly, the attention of the country.

Whales are endangered. They are intelligent, faithful, and absolutely fascinating. Of course everything must be done to ensure perpetuation of this species.

But, have you ever wondered why so much emphasis is placed on some endangered species while others are left to wither, to grow old surrounded by nothing but other
wrinklies?

Which brings me to the plight of our nation’s nudist colonies. Their situation is dire, yet, rather than rush to prop up these failing groups, we (yes, many of us are guilty) sneer at, or ignore their plight.

It is reported that about 70% of nudists are over 35. Members bravely avoid revealing the percentage of that 70% who are over 60. These people are desperate and they are forced to take desperate measures or nudists will disappear from the earth.

A difficult decision has been made. Although this goes against the simple code by which they live; established, aging nudists will resort to using the lowest of lures: MONEY.

The scale of fees to join these prestigious organizations will slide downward–in so many areas, downward trends are a major issue for nudist devotees, but this time they are embracing the concept.


An example of how this innovative concept will work follows.

Fee Schedule for membership at Naked Truth Village:
35 and older– $20,000 per annum
30–35–$1,000 per annum
25–30–$500.00 per annum
25 and under–Free

With savings like these, the youthful members should pour in but I should point out a couple of negatives. Sunburn is more painful in some places than others, and no control pantyhose or body stockings are allowed.


CELEBRATE CELULITE

On the other hand, just think of the benefits of membership.

Spectator Events:

Tennis
Volleyball
Gymnastics
Field and track
Figure Skating–individual and pairs

The possibilities are endless.

If you feel you have a particular talent to bring to a drooping nudist camp, an uplifting gift you can share, find your nearest group in the Yellow Pages.

Have you ever considered joining a nudist colony?
What special skill do you have to offer nudists?
What advice would you give to a nubile soon-to-be nudist?

Stella
XOXO

Susan's Addiction

My name is Susan and I am an ice cream junkie.

I blame it on my father--he started me on my habit, placing my first cone in my hand when I was just a little girl too helpless and young to defend myself. And the house my brothers and I grow up in was just down the hill from a Creamery. Dad bought it. Plus, he always had a five gallon tub of vanilla (he was strictly a vanilla man) in the basement deep freeze, with a box of cones in the cupboard over it. And a girl's supposed to ignore that HOW?

I can't even have half gallons in my house because I simply cannot stay away from them. Trust me, I have rationalizing down to a science. I can roll an entire serving onto a teaspoon and fool myself that I'm just eating a spoonful. So we only buy it when we're having company.

Which I had last weekend. My Sweet Baby Boy and his girl (Okay, so family isn't really company--close enough) were coming for dinner on Mother's Day, so Friday night my husband and I went to the grocery story. We had to go then, because I needed stuff for potato salad and I was spending Saturday with my mother and I refuse to lift a finger on Mother's Day itself. Hey, I am a mother--it's my day.

And oh, joyous evening, Safeway had a buy-one-get-one-free sale on half gallons of ice cream! When I showed up in the produce department where the soulmate had our basket, he took one look at the half gallon carton of coffee and the half gallon of peppermint I had clutched in my hot little hands and said, "You really want to get those two days ahead of time?"

"Hey, it's Mother's Day weekend," I snapped.

"O-kay."

I actually did quite well. Yeah, yeah, so I was gone most of Saturday, and I ate ice cream at my mother's. Still. By the time the kids got to our house late Sunday afternoon, I hadn't even opened the coffee. (cuz once it's open, baby, I'm toast) And I left an entire quarter inch skim of peppermint in the bottom of the carton, so I could honestly say I hadn't eaten the whole thing all by myself. And of course , since everyone insisted on having some of the coffee ice cream, when I killed it off later that night, I'd really only eaten maybe a third of the gallon.

Still, I probably won't be buying more any time soon.

What are YOUR addictions?

Elizabeth G. shares her favorites for the summer.

Summer is nearly upon us here in the Midwest. It’s 90 degrees today with thunderstorms looming on the horizon, so it definitely feels like summer. With that in mind, here are a few of my personal favorites you might enjoy:

FAVORITE SUMMER SALAD: Pears with shaved parmigiano reggiano, drizzled with balsamic vinegar. (Can you believe that I’m actually blogging about a recipe? Me, the non-cook!)

4 Anjou pears, washed, cored, and sliced
fresh lemon juice
a chunk of good parmigiano reggiano cheese
a good balsamic vinegar

1. Arrange a sliced pear on each salad plate.

2. Squeeze fresh lemon juice over pear slices to keep them from turning brown.

3. Using a vegetable peeler, shave parmigiano reggiano cheese to taste over each plate of sliced pears.

4. Drizzle balsamic vinegar over the top. (I use an aged sweet Italian vinegar.)

Serve immediately and enjoy!
Serves 4


FAVORITE SUMMER SANDWICH: Spinach wraps with fresh veggies.

1 avocado
prepared salsa
1 seedless/English cucumber, thinly sliced
fresh broccoli or alfalfa sprouts
4 spinach wraps

Peel avocado, remove pit, and smush with a fork. (Surely you’re familiar with the culinary term "smush?")

Add salsa to taste and spread mixture on a spinach wrap. (I won’t tell you what my DH thinks this looks like. Okay, I will. Monkey spit.)

Add a few slices of cucumber and some sprouts and roll up.

Serve immediately and enjoy!
Serves 4


FAVORITE SUMMER READING, NONFICTION: Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think by Brian Wansink, Ph.D.

Wansink is a food psychologist and the director of the Cornell University Food and Brand Lab. He’s spent a lifetime studying the hidden clues that determine how much and why people eat. Fascinating stuff — especially his experiments with the "bottomless soup bowl" and the "week-old stale popcorn" he served at movie theaters.

Makes for interesting dinner conversation. :-)



FAVORITE SUMMER READING, FICTION:

If you’ve already read everything written by my fellow Quills, may I recommend my favorite YA author, Cornelia Funke? The first book I read by this talented German author, now living in Los Angeles, was THE THIEF LORD. The setting is Venice. The story is magical and intriguing.

Read and enjoy!


FAVORITE SUMMER MUSIC: Loreena McKennitt’s "The Book of Secrets."

I recently rediscovered Loreena McKennitt after watching one of her concerts on Public Television. Hers is Celtic music with a twist. Her lyrics are sometimes original and sometimes taken from well-known poems like "The Highwayman." Her interpretation is always beautifully and uniquely Loreena McKennitt.

FAVORITE SUMMER MOVIES ON DVD
: If you didn't see them in the movie theater and want to enjoy something fun and light, funny and occasionally poignant, I’m recommending you rent "A Good Year" with Russell Crowe, and "Music and Lyrics" with Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore.


FAVORITE TELEVISION SHOW: If you missed the spectacular "Planet Earth" mini-series produced by the BBC and shown on the Discovery Channel this spring, please try to catch it in reruns or rent it or buy it to watch this summer. This is a truly magnificent documentary. The crews spent five years filming views of our earth as never before seen. The photography is stunning, even mind-boggling. I loved it. DH loved it. The Kids loved it. We can’t wait to watch all eleven hours again.

Those are a few of my favorites I’m sharing with you for the summer ahead. Inquiring Minds want to know: Do you have some favorites you’d like to share with the rest of us?

Bon Appétit and Cheers!
Elizabeth G.

My sister Quillers Rock!!

Congratulations to Elizabeth L. The Wrong Hostage is # 15 on the New York Times list!

And to Jayne, whose The River Knows hit #12 on the NYT hardcover list.

You two are my benchmark! ~Susan

Jayne Goes Negative --But Not For Long

Been feeling a little down this week. Haven't even been up to posting comments on my sister Quills' brilliant blogs for days. (Apologies, ladies). Won't go so far as to say I'm depressed because I respect the fact that depression is serious business and this isn't that bad -- primarily because I know it will end soon. I think positive, see? It's in the blood.

Feeling down for a whole week is a bit unusual for me. As anyone who knows me can tell you, I am often annoyingly optimistic and upbeat. Not my fault. I was raised by a Mom who was into metaphysical thinking before metaphysics was cool. "What goes around, comes around" made perfect karmic sense to her. She became a staunch believer in the power of positive thinking early on in her life and never lost faith to the end of her days. She truly believed that the mind created energy and that, all things considered, it was best to send out positive, rather than negative energy. That stuff comes back at you, she said. So, yeah, all things considered, I'm inclined to look on the bright side...

However, even I have my limits. For the past week Frank and I have been vacationing in a lovely hotel room in Waikiki. We have a vast, shady lanai that looks out over the water, room service and someone to make the bed and change the towels every day. What's wrong with this picture, you ask? Well, Frank and I got hit with a heavy case of food poisoning-gastroenteritis-stomach flu or whatever you want to call it the first day we arrived. We have been surviving on a diet of Imodium, Pepto Bismol, and live culture yogurt for the past six days. We're finally starting to feel somewhat normal today. Unfortunately, tomorrow we fly home. So, yeah, I'm a little down.

But this is Mother's Day and in honor of my mom I am determined to think positive. Instead of dwelling on the fact that I've been gargling stomach meds instead of cute drinks with little umbrellas all week I am reading the books I brought along with me. One of them is a fine example of the new Urban Fantasy genre. I was struck by the author's excellent world building skills and I began to ponder the whole concept of "World Building".

In case you missed it, World Building is a current buzzword often applied to paranormal romance and the hot new genre of Urban Fantasy. The term originated in the science fiction/fantasy genres. Authors are often rated on how good they are at World Building. The phrase is self-explanatory. It refers to the creation of a believable fantasy landscape. After all, if you're going to ask adult readers buy into a world that is populated by vampires, werewolves, mages, sorcerers, witches, etc., you'd better be good at creating a fictional landscape that is inherently consistent and believable. It doesn't have to abide by the rules of the "real" world but it does have to abide by its own internal rules.

Good world building doesn't pretend to invoke reality, rather it creates a world that feels real. Big difference. The writer's goal is to create a logical construct in which the rules of the fantasy universe make sense to the reader even though there is nothing realistic about them. If the resulting world works for you, you can step right into the author's fantasy and enjoy the trip. You don't have to believe in ghosts in order to savor a good ghost story. Same with vampires and werewolves. (Not every world works for every reader, but, hey, that's the nature of fiction and readers: unpredictable. But I digress.

World building is obvious when you look at books that feature supernatural creatures or people with psychic powers. We understand it intuitively when it is well done in those stories, probably because we all grew up on fairytales and books about dinosaurs -- both of which require a real leap of faith.

But sitting out here on the lanai, sipping my Pepto Bismol, it dawned on me that in the rush to credit paranormal and Urban Fantasy authors with their exotic world building talents a lot of folks have overlooked the fact that ALL fiction -- regardless of genre -- is a matter of World Building. The landscape of the story, whether historical, contemporary, or paranormal can never be "real", no matter how accurately it is researched. (Hey, that's why they call it fiction, folks).

The landscape of a novel is always a product of the author's imagination. It is, in turn, either enhanced or reduced by what the reader brings to the story. If the reader is not engaged the landscape feels flat. If the reader buys into the world, the landscape is multidimensional and enthralling.


We admire World Building in the paranormal/fantasy genres because it is so dang obvious. But, take it from me, when I write historicals such as my new hardcover THE RIVER KNOWS (okay, shameless plug. Hey, just trying to sell a few books here) the landscape of the Late Victorian era is a matter of World Building. Sure I do my research and sure I try to get the hard historical facts straight -- such as the interesting detail that fashionable women in that era often wore as much as 14 pounds of underclothes!!!! And that's not counting the additional twenty or so pounds added by the weight of the dress, shoes, hat, gloves, etc. And it wasn't because anyone forced them to do it. This was a matter of FASHION. But I digress.

Ahem, where was I? Oh, yes, selling a book. No, no, wait, I had a point. Right. World Building. That's what I do, regardless of which of my three worlds I'm working in, I try to create a fictional realm that feels real. But I don't kid myself. I'm writing fiction. (For the record, I got my undergraduate degree in history and I can tell you that the process of writing history is eerily similar -- Lots of attention to detail and hard facts of course, but the world that emerges is necessarily a construct of the historian's imagination. Sorry, I digress again.)

There's a lot of stuff out there on how to build great paranormal "Worlds". There is even software that can design fantasy worlds for you. But I'll let you in on a little secret: it isn't the elaborately designed landscapes or the lush descriptions of clothing details that bring a fictional world (or a history text) to life -- it is the emotional connection established between the reader and the story. As readers we want to know how the characters feel and react to their world.

Unlike facts and details that can be manipulated, human emotions are universal, transcendent and intuitively comprehended by everyone. They've even done research showing that people in remote tribes who have never heard of Shakespeare have no problem understanding the emotional forces that drive the main character in Hamlet. But I digress. Again.

As I was saying, the human connection -- emotions, thoughts, feelings -- is the power that brings a fictional landscape to life. The best World Builders are not those who can describe a demon in exquisitely horrific detail -- they are the ones who engage our emotional reaction to the demon. Or, what the heck, the demon's emotional response. That works, too.

You see, emotions, thoughts, and feelings all have power. They are all products of the mind. I learned that from Mom. Metaphysics in action.

Happy Mothers' Day, Mom, wherever you are. Don't worry, I'm thinking positive. Feeling better every minute. Hey, look at the bright side of this trip. I got a blog out of it!

Thanks, Mom, for everything.

Love,
Jayne

Random thoughts on random things!

Wow, it's Friday morning, and after running (literally) all week, I have nothing to blog about. Well, except maybe my bouts of insanity.
How has your week been?

So here are some of the things I've pondered this week.
First, a sanity saver!

I DESPERATELY need to get in shape. I'm not talking "bathingsuit" shape. Ferget it! Those years have come and gone.
I'm hoping for "walk-up-the-stairs-without-panting" shape. Being a writer means too many hours in a chair, only exercising my brain.
But I'm a creature of habit. It takes me time to get anything new slotted into my morning routine of coffee, computer, laundry, computer, dogs, computer, food, computer... You get the picture.

I moved the treadmill upstairs to my bedroom. Closer is better right? I mean, if I see the thing every day I'm more apt to remember that I want to be on it.
Then I got Elizabeth Lowell's arc for INNOCENT AS SIN and inspiration struck!
I was dying to read it, but in order to fit it (and exercise) into my already crunched routine, I decided I would only be allowed to read it while I multi-tasked... that is, I could read while using the treadmill.

Is that genius or what!
Yes, genius. Elizabeth laughed at me for reading only 20 to 30 minutes a day, but it's working! I'm almost done with the book, and I've been on the treadmill lots (missed yesterday and might miss today due to a grueling to-do list) but overall, I'm exercising!
And I'm LOVING this book.
Wow. Talk about characterization.
And multi-layered plots.
And a really hot, motivated, capable, and INTELLIGENT hero! Yummy.
I won't say too much, but folks... this book is a must have.
After I finish it, I'll have to find another just as good to keep me on the treadmill. I hear anything we do for 6 weeks becomes a habit. I hope so!
What ingenious method have you discovered to keep yourself motivated toward a less-than-fun task?

Now, a random observation...
I'm on Myspace, which many of you probably know is a HUGE cyber site with avid readers galore. Before I add anyone as a friend, I always check to make sure they're not spam or porn. Lo and behold, so many wonderful people (I'm not being sarcastic! They ARE wonderful) have their favorite type books listed as "smutty romances," or "trashy romances."
Why oh why do people feel the need to do that? I've never understood it.
If you like romance, just say so. But to ask to be linked to an author while advertising what you think of her genre is... well, I dunno.
I understand it, I'm not judging people, but I always shake my head when I see it.
Does that sort of thing annoy you?
Are you used to it?
Do you just dismiss it or do you feel the urge to write the person and ask, "Why????"

'nuther random thought.
Why do some people have such a hard time with directions? Now this one I'm saying with a smile. Believe it! Harried as I am, I DO have a sense of humor.
In case any of you have forgotten (because I don't mention it oh... every other day...) June 1st is the annual "READER & AUTHOR GET TOGETHER."
We now have around 140 people registered, with 50 authors attending, editors Cindy Hwang and Rose Hilliard, and agents Roberta Brown and Jennifer Schober.
It's only $35 bucks, which pays for food, and Dianne Castell and I cover the rest of the costs as a great big THANK YOU to our writerly friends and fabulous readers.
It's low key, loads of fun, and something I start anticipating months out.
But it's also a ton of work.
I've tried to make the registration form (available in the community link of my website at www.lorifoster.com) as simple and explanatory as possible.
But that doesn't help.
On the registration form, it says: Date.
That's so I know who sent theirs off first, in the case of editor and agent appointments that fill up.
So far I've gotten birth dates, dates authors first published, "I don't know" (seriously) and "soon" all written in.
I crack up.

There's room for an email address, and I ask people to write clearly. I don't send out confirmation of receipts (there's too much to do already) but I do sign everyone up for an announce only email loop where necessary information will be shared. THAT'S how folks will know I received their registration form.
I get cancelled email accounts.
I get email addies I can't begin to read.
I get misspelled email addresses. (LOVE those!)
And my favorite! I had two people complain that they weren't added to the list. I checked, told them the address I'd added, and they said, "I never use that email address."
So, um... why did they send it to me!?

Remember, I'm laughing, not complaining. I swear it!
It really is amusing, and each year something new happens.

If anyone is interested in joining us June 1st, 2nd and breakfast on the 3rd, registration is open until May 19th, then I have to start turning in food reports.
Everyone is welcome! And pubs from every level can take part. We have epubs, small press, traditionally published, and NYTimes bestsellers. The list of attending authors is on my website (again, under community.) Channel 5 news has promised us a mention on air, and a few radio stations are planning small pieces.


Oh, I meant to say that our proceeds from raffles (usually over $2000) go to the local Battered Women's Shelter.
We have separate fundraisers for Troops and Animal shelters.
This year, we have an awesome cookbook for sale, with proceeds to go to our troop project. Over 90 authors and some talented readers contributed recipes. You can get the cook book at the Get Together, at Amazon.com and BN.com, at www.samhainpublishing.com, or in bookstores!
It's $13.00


Have you ever had to organize something where, no matter how you tried, you couldn't make the form clear to one and all?

Okay, last random thought.
We're having an addition built on our house and that includes a bigger kitchen, a 4-season room, and an expanded deck. When we went to move the old grill off the deck, it decomposed. Seriously. Just sort of fell into ashes.
So we bought a new one, and while at the store we also bought a battery operated temperature-checking fork. It's a big sucker with these super sharp and thick prongs that you insert into the meat you're cooking, so it can read the tempts.
On the packaging it says: Do not attempt to eat with this fork.
Which makes me wonder - has someone actually tried????
What bizarre warnings have you seen on packaging?

It's beautiful here in Ohio!
I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!
What do you have planned?
My sons are taking me to see 28 WEEKS LATER for Mother's Day. SWEET! My boys know what I like!

Hugs to you!

ELIZABETH GOES TO THE DOGS

My daughter has two dogs. The first is a Beagle. In case you’ve never looked it up, a Beagle is one of the three most stubborn of the dog breeds. My friend, a veterinarian of many years, almost hurt himself laughing when we told him that Heather has gotten a Beagle puppy.

Have I mentioned that Heather could teach stubborn to a mule?

However, she and Darwin (the Beagle, what else?) reached an agreement. Darwin wouldn’t pee on the floor if Heather didn’t use “leash corrections” inside the house. Darwin is the kind of darling Beagle that people walked out of their houses to coo over when Heather took her for a walk. (Seems like everyone has had ONE Beagle. Haven’t met any who had a SECOND one, though. They’re adorable and not for the average person to raise.)

A few years down the road, a new dog was introduced into the household. Sydney was my son’s dog, a much-loved pound rescue. Brought home at five weeks old, she grew to be a rather large, quite elegantly formed lion-colored dog with large, erect ears, a black eye mask, and a beautiful pacing gait. Such was her style that everyone wanted to know what breed she was.

One hundred per cent pure mutt, that’s what. Affectionately known to one and all as “the dingo.”

Unfortunately, Sydney’s experiences before or during the pound stay had shattered the dog’s confidence. Or perhaps she never had any to begin with. In any case, when Matt’s son became a toddler fast enough to chase and corner the now-sixty-five-pound dog, she would bare her teeth and raise her ruff in warning.

Have you ever tried to teach an active, curious, intelligent toddler to leave something alone?

The same veterinarian who had laughed himself sick over Heather’s choice of dogs watched Sydney interact with adult and sub-adult humans and said bluntly, “Sydney should never be left alone with a child. If there are two children, there should be two adults. Three children, three adults. And no matter what you do, someday she’ll bite a kid.”

After a few months of soul-searching and tears, Sydney moved in with Darwin and Heather. (Nobody got bitten or even scared, but some things can’t be changed. Fear-biting is one of them.) The Beagle had never met a kid she didn’t love; Sydney had never met a kid she wasn’t afraid of. Fortunately, kids weren’t a problem at Heather’s house.

That was five years ago. As the years went by, Darwin and Sydney came to be companions; both are nuts about the human who spoils them so delightfully. The scent hound (that would be the Beagle) and the sight hound (that would be the elegant mutt) couldn’t be more different, and each has a great life.

The point of all this?

Absolutely none.

I just smile whenever I think about those two very different canines living the good life with Heather.

Smiles are good.

Have any pet smiles you want to share?

"I LOVE YOU LIKE A FAT KID LOVES CAKE"

That line got my attention. In fact, I read it and fell over my dog.

What followed was a piece on memorable titles of, or phrases and verses from songs. Now I can’t stop noticing the dumb things people sing:

"There were plants
And birds
And rocks
And things."

Really?

"Time is like a clock in my heart."

Isn’t that sweet?


I get lines stuck in my head. "I like my women on the sleazy side," has never left me. The words were belted out from a bar in Nashville and I was gob-stopped (translations always available on request). If I’d had a dog with me, I’d have fallen over her. . . or him.

Don’t get on my case about the next one. There are no obscene four-letter words. Honestly there aren’t:

"I ain’t never seen
An ass like that
The way you move it
You make my pee-pee go
‘Doing-doing-doing.’"

No further comment, although it does lead nicely into:

"Your butt is mine"

However:

"I don’t like cities
But I like New York
Other places
Make me feel like a dork."

Rat-a-tat-tat.

And there’s some bleepin’ comin’ up:

"Young, black and famous
With money hangin’
Out the a- -s"

That one rhymes–sort of.

I can’t stop, I can’t, I can’t...

"There’s an insect
In your ear
If your scratch
It won’t disappear"

Someone stop me--please:

"Lucky that my breasts
Are small and humble
So you don’t confuse
Them with mountains"


Cissy added:

"I love you
Like rats love rice"

Followed by her very own title:

A SLICE OF CAKE, A SLEAZY WOMAN AND A RAT SHOULD DO IT.

That’s it. "I love you like a fat kid loves cake," seems quite appealing now. I’ll close with:

"Coast to coast
L.A. to Chicago"

Stella

Please don’t hold back. Share your musical gems with us. All comments and suggestions are welcome:)

Susan ponders the ethics of photographing naked men

I just got back from Spain. We chose it in part because the America's Cup is being hosted by Valencia and the Soulmate is a fool for sailing. Back in the day, he crewed for the occasional race. Not to mention that I’m working on a book with a hero who makes his living sailing in Europe (even if for most of the story he’s back home picking up the slack in the family business).

So what does this have to do with naked men, you ask? And why the big ethical dilemma about snapping their picture?

Well, it's like this. We stayed at a hotel on the Mediterranean about 15 kilometers from Valencia. And each afternoon when we got back from town, we’d go down to the beach to walk in the surf. The first day we’d barely cleared the dunes when this group of men we privately called The Lads shed all their clothing and stood in a circle sort of egging each other on. I had a camera in my hand and my first inclination was to photogragh them for the edification of my girlfriends. Or, wait! It would be strictly educational-- a visual aid to go along with the shots I took of churches and museums to demostrate how I spent my Spring Vacation)

But no. The Lads deserve their privacy, insisted my principled side. Of course the minute they were dressed again my baser side could have kicked itself. Because, c’mon—stripping on a public beach sort of defies the expectation of privacy, don’tcha think?

On the other hand, what if it’s a cultural thing and I stuck my camera lense where it was tacitly understood no camera lense would go? Still, I was beginning to doubt that was the case, as this beach connected to a national park that largely catered to families. And The Lads were the only ones I saw in the buff.

Then on our last day we walked quite a way down the beach. And when I turned around I realized it probably was a cultural reality in Spain. For there was a VERY naked-worthy man strolling behind us. Omigawd. Full frontal nudity staring me right in the--

Cough. Okay, I admit it. I can be a rube. And in the end, my baser side won out. I didn’t have the guts to do so when he was facing me, but the instant he turned back in the direction from which we’d all come, I took his picture.

And immediately felt guilty. I really am ambivalent about how ethical this is. Not so much that I erased the picture, mind you. But--and much as I'd love to share with you my very-stellar-if-I-do-say-so-myself camerawork-- I do know better than to post Mr. Buff's image on the internet, where it would no doubt remain long after the man himself turned to dust.

But knowing I can't tell you this only to leave you all hanging, I’m offering another buff guy I photographed. He won’t mind.


And for those of you who know me? Be sure to ask to see my wallet the next time you see me. It’s sporting a brand new snapshot.

Elizabeth G. recommends: READ THE BOLD PRINT

I read three newspapers each and every day. Actually, that's a lie. I "skim" three newspapers daily looking for articles to read, which always include world news, medical matters, anything about space, anything about ancient Egypt, and movie reviews, of course. (You may recall in several past blogs that I'm an avid movie-watcher.) Oh, and on occasion I will read a "human interest" story. . . if it interests me.

Here are a few intriguing headlines I recently came across:

IT'S A SPHERE FOR YOUR REAR

Yep, it was an article about people who are replacing their office chairs with exercise balls. (It was also noted in the article that this trend could result in an office safety hazard.)

SUSPECTED CAVIAR RING BUSTED

I just never thought "illegal caviar" was a problem here in Indiana. I was wrong. It seems a shortage of sturgeon eggs from the Caspian Sea has inspired some clever fishermen to substitute paddlefish eggs from fish illegally caught in the Ohio River. (Who knew?)

PRETTY PRESIDENTIAL . . .OR JUST PRETTY

There was a photo of presidential candidate John Edwards accompanying this one and a mention of his $400 haircuts. (Nuf said.)

SHARED WOES THE STUFF OF NIGHTMARES

Well, darn, it seems my dream of being chased is THE most common dream, followed by the one in which the dreamer is falling or drowning. Apparently we all have very similar dreams whether we're male or female, whatever our age, language or culture. And the experts really don't know why. (Now that intrigues me.)

TOO MANY CHOO SHOES TO CHOOSE

This was all about the trials and tribulations of a shoeaholic. (Refer to Susan Andersen's recent and very funny blog on the subject of shoes.)

BABY'S OUT OF THE CORNER

"Dirty Dancing" is coming back to theaters for a limited run in celebration of the movie's 20th anniversary. Boy, howdy, as Jayne would say. Time sure flies. (Okay, I'll confess. This movie is one of my "guilty pleasures." You gotta agree DD does have a great soundtrack.)

GET INTO THE HOBBIT

Of course, this headline caught my eye. I'm a huge LOTR fan. I've read the HOBBIT and the entire trilogy three or four times. Not to mention seeing all three movies in the theater, owning the extended versions on DVD, and wishing I were a tall, slim, long-lived, magical elf, myself. (Sigh.)

BATTER UP TOLL HOUSE RECIPE

You guessed it. This is an article about the classic chocolate chip cookie. (When I was a kid I loved the batter even more than the baked cookies. Of course, we try to avoid eating raw eggs these days. Pity.)

WORLD WIDE WEB

This was atop an ad for the third "Spiderman" film. (Me, I can't wait for the new Nancy Drew movie coming in June and starring Julia Roberts niece as ND. Also, "Becoming Jane," loosely based on the life of the venerable Jane Austen, out in August.)

FOUR PLAY

You may have surmised that this was the headline of an article about the new "Fantastic Four" movie. (I don't know about you, but when I was a kid I loved the Saturday morning cartoon version of "The Fantastic Four.")

PLAY IT AGAIN SCAM

Something to do with the way music is released on multiply CDs, which is considered by some to be a scam, I guess. (I just liked the headline.)

DISSENT OF A WOMAN

My dh thought this headline was too subtle to include in my list. I thought it was darned clever. (I didn't read the whole article, but apparently a female critic was taking to task some of the popular TV shows . . . none of which I watch.)

YOUR DAD IS NOT A HORSE'S BEHIND

This one never fails to catch my attention. (I'm not sure what that says about me.:-) It's on print and TV ads for a new camera from Sony that automatically adjusts lighting, focus, color, and exposure to emphasize the faces in the photo. (What will they think of next?)

So, Inquiring Minds want to know: What catches your eye when you're reading a newspaper/magazine? Just for fun, do you have any favorite headlines to share with the rest of us?

Here's to the merry month of May!
Elizabeth G.